


Strange Things That Affect Us, The

by flowerpotgirl



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Character Study, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-18
Updated: 2007-11-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerpotgirl/pseuds/flowerpotgirl
Summary: Amy contemplates what might have been.





	Strange Things That Affect Us, The

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: Disclaimer: I don't own these but since the owners won't play with them anymore, I thought I'd borrow them. I promise I'll share and I'll put them all back in the toybox when I'm finished.  


* * *

She was surprised by her reaction. She had thought that she was used to ‘them’ by now, but this felt like a punch in the gut and she was still reeling hours later.  
Amy was not a fanciful person and she firmly believed in moving on once a relationship had run its course. She thought that she had moved on and had only thought of Josh in a work context.   
Secretly she admitted that she liked powerful guys and there was no doubt that in their political arena Josh was about as powerful as it got. She had felt a pull towards him at times when he had been campaigning for Matt Santos - he was an attractive, intelligent man and he was bringing a relative unknown to political prominence. Like a lot of people, she had been sceptical about their chances until the Convention and even then had doubted Vinick would be beaten.  
But then Josh had pulled off the impossible and for the second time brought a rank outsider to the Oval Office.  
Amy had to confess, in the private part of her mind, that her relationship at the time had been the only thing stopping her making a move on Josh then. The whole idea of setting him up with her friend had been a delaying tactic. He would have been too busy to give that relationship any time and it would have petered out as usual leaving Josh bewildered by its failure. This would have given Amy time to decide whether Pete was the man for her or if she would rather be with the COS. It never occurred to her that he would not be available or that he could possibly reject her. Nor did it occur to her even now that she was thinking more of the position than the man who held it.  
All that aside, she had been convinced that she would be a major player in the new Administration, with influence over Josh and hence the whole agenda. But someone else only had to raise an eyebrow for Josh to come running and no-one seemed to take Amy seriously these days.  
Donna was Queen both in the East Wing, where she and Helen Santos were thick as thieves, and in the West Wing, where the entire staff treated her like a second COS. Even worse she was immensely popular and admired - not least for her ability and, more amazingly, her willingness to control Josh Lyman. For some of the younger staff, who had had experience of Josh before Donna joined the campaign, she seemed to have almost Goddess status.   
Amy had been shocked to come into work one morning during Transition to find Sam Seaborn as Deputy COS. He had made it plain that she was to report to him and that there was to be a strict chain of command in the West Wing. At that point Amy had started to see some flaws in her image of herself as a powerful operative.   
The next shock had been finding out where Josh had gone and then, to top it all, with whom. Amy could not believe that he had taken a vacation at all and to find Donna had gone with him was a shock. She thought she had covered it well, partly because the room was buzzing with speculation and comment and so her reaction had gone unnoticed.   
Unfortunately, Helen Santos had chosen that point to come into the meeting and things had gone even further downhill after that.  
‘Good morning ma’am,’ Sam had been the quickest to react out due to his years of experience.  
The rest of the staff had followed, standing and chorusing a greeting, like a class of primary children. In some ways Amy felt that analogue applied particularly well to this group of young and inexperienced people.  
‘Please, do sit down. I only popped in to ask Sam about the announcement for my new Chief of Staff.’  
Amy’s ears pricked up as she wondered who would be up to the job of guiding a First Lady with even less political experience than the gaggle currently in Sam’s office.  
‘We can handle that if you would like ma’am’ Sam offered.   
‘Great, because I was going to get her to appoint the other staff so I have no-one to deal with it yet.’  
‘Do you want to announce it now or wait?’  
Amy wondered idly what they would be waiting for, since the First Lady elect’s COS needed to be recruiting. A niggle started somewhere at the back of her head but before she could work out why she was brought sharply back to the conversation in the room.  
‘Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I didn’t have time to discuss it with the speed at which Josh whisked her away. Talk about not doing things by half! What do you think?’  
Amy did not realise she had jumped to her feet until she was facing Mrs Santos and saying the first thing which came into her head. Given a little preparation she would have managed a graciously condescending speech about how pleased she was Donna’s talents were being recognised, but she spoke without thought.  
‘Donna? Donna Moss? The little secretary with a crush on Josh? Heaven knows how she persuaded him to take her on vacation with him, but can’t you find someone with some experience to compensate for your……’  
At that point Amy’s brain caught up with her mouth and was appalled at what had happened in its absence.  
The room was silent and a palpable shock was etched on the faces around her. Lou was the first to recover and she quickly said ‘ The problem with an announcement now is the next question. The press will ask where Donna is and I don’t have an answer until I speak to Josh and Donna about how they want this handled.’  
Sam chipped in ‘Standard White House policy is not to comment on the personal lives of staff, but I can see we may have a difficult time stopping speculation. Given their positions there is bound to be media interest. I would suggest we announce just before they return so their absence is less conspicuous.’  
‘I agree’ said Lou, one eye on Amy and the other waiting for a reaction from Mrs Santos.  
‘That makes sense. Thank you Sam, Lou. It is nice to be able to work with people from the campaign I know and respect.’  
With only a faint emphasis on her last word, Helen Santos smiled at the staff, looked at Amy like she had fleas and exited with a flourish.  
Nobody looked at Amy for the rest of the meeting, but Sam did when he tore her to pieces afterwards. You had to admit the man had a wonderful vocabulary and a tremendous way with words, but Amy left the office feeling like a schoolgirl.  
She avoided Mrs Santos after that and people were speaking to her, albeit reluctantly, by the time Josh and Donna came back.  
Amy was prepared this time but still felt a pang when she first saw them after their return, laughing in Josh’s office with the President-elect and his wife. She knew Sam had not told them of her faux pas because Josh never ripped her head off and Donna was as polite as ever. She hoped desperately that the President-elect was also kept in the dark over the fact that one of his staff had all but called his wife inexperienced and suggested she was a liability.  
Over time she got used to seeing Josh and Donna together, dancing at Inaugural Balls, sharing lunch in the mess and fighting over the fries in what Amy considered an infantile way and occasionally cuddled up on the couch in Josh’s office late at night. She walked in on them once in a passionate embrace and could not believe that uptight Josh Lyman would behave like that next to the Oval Office. He had refused to even kiss her in his previous office which was further away.  
Amy was convinced she was over Josh and content with her own relationship when she managed to smile and congratulate Donna on her engagement. The excitement and wedding frenzy in both the East and West Wings made her want to spit but she put it down to a dislike of the whole wedding circus and a desire to be professional in a serious environment.  
Amy believed it was coincidence that had her out of DC for the wedding. In some ways she would have been flattered had she realised the people who had worked to ensure her absence. The First Family, a few Congressmen and women and a lot of White House staff were determined that nothing would spoil Donna’s day (Josh they deemed irrelevant provided he was present). To that end there was a plan, a back-up plan and a series of orders for the Secret Services should the plans fail. Nothing short of a nuclear attack would have kept Amy in town and such a scenario would have also delayed the nuptials.  
Altogether, Amy thought she had herself well under control and in no emotional danger from the couple. Until today.  
It had been a routine day in as much as any of their days were routine. A bill signing and a photo-op in the rose Garden had all the Senior Staff present. The First Lady and her COS had worked on the bill so were also stood waiting for the press to assemble. They were all lined up when Amy felt Josh stiffen beside her. She glanced at him to see his eyes trained on Donna, but for what reason she could not discern. Donna was pale, but then she always was. She was stood next to the First Lady waiting for the gaggle to gather. As Amy watched Donna passed a hand over her eyes as if she had a headache and at that moment Josh moved. He leapt in front of the photographers, brushing past the President, to catch Donna in his arms as she started to sway. Her eyes closed and any colour she had had faded, leaving her white as a sheet. Josh carried her into the building, followed by the First Lady and a bevy of females. While a doctor was called the other staff gathered and harassed the press corps to ensure the scheduled photos were taken with the President and that no comment was made on Donna’s collapse. Rumours abounded, but the reporters were surprisingly docile and agree that this was a private matter at this point. Donna appeared to have fans everywhere. Amy listened to endless speculation as to a pregnancy and quite a few jokes at the idea of Josh as a father.  
Eventually, things settled down and later there would be an announcement of impending parenthood.  
But that afternoon Amy sat in her office and found it hard to concentrate on anything. It was not the pregnancy which worried her - to her mind that had been inevitable. Donna was the sort to want a family and Josh would do anything to keep her happy. Josh as a father took some imagining but then Amy had never seen Josh as a settled married man.  
What bugged Amy and went round in her head as she sat staring at Medicare statistics was the fact that Josh had known Donna was unwell. He had moved before Amy had looked up at Donna and she had not seen anything unusual with the other woman.   
Josh had reached Donna before she swayed.  
He had been there to catch her when she fainted, despite starting up on the other side of the group. He had pushed past the President as though oblivious to the presence of the Leader of the Free World. This was Josh Lyman who would lay down his life for his country and his President. This was outside of Amy’s understanding.  
Yet she felt jealous. She felt jealous that Donna was more important to Josh than anything. She felt jealous that the other woman brought out facets of his character no-one had seen before. She felt jealous more than anything that Josh was so attuned to Donna he was there for her before anyone, including Donna herself probably, knew he was needed.   
Amy knew she would never inspire such devotion and doubted she could bear to watch it. She had thought she was over any attachment to Josh years ago, but for some reason she could not stay to see Donna and Josh with a baby. She typed out her resignation but left it on her computer undated. Today would look suspicious, but soon another job would come along and she would leave. And maybe look for her own man. It would be hard to find one who met her criteria -although she no longer had feelings for him and had dated plenty, Josh Lyman was a hard act to follow.


End file.
